Stuck because of one WORD
Stop saying this!
I read an excellent article in Psychology Today about the one word that keeps you stuck after a serious life event. The word is WHY. Why is he so mean to me? Why did he leave? Why did my child die? Why are my kids not talking to me? Why this pandemic? This word will stop you in your tracks, because there’s no answer to truly satisfy this question. Stop this endless questioning swirling in our thinking. The article encourages you to take an imaginary scissors, and cut out the word WHY in each sentence. Then reconfigure the sentence without the WHY.
I will never truly understand the reasons my ex-husband waited so long to tell me he wanted a divorce, or why I couldn’t read the signs that he was unfaithful. You’d think that in the 23 years of marriage, I’d be able to figure it out. His unfaithfulness started at about the year 3. After the discovery of who he really was, the why’s made me miserable. Sooner or later, I stopped asking WHY when thinking about how much our lives had changed due to his actions. This actually helped me face it and begin to build a new life without him.
Instead of the sentence, “Why didn’t I see the signs?” becomes, “I didn’t see the signs.” This is not a question anymore, it’s a statement. “Why is this happening to me?” becomes, “This is happening.” “How will I make it?” becomes, “I will make it.” What a difference one word makes. Defeating questions become statements of courage.
I challenge you to try. I know it won’t be everyone’s answer. If you are one of us who are not able to move forward from whatever event has stopped you, I challenge you for one week, stop asking why. See if your results help you in big or small ways.
